07 September 2008

I love Woody Allen

So I just saw Vicky Cristina Barcelona. The movie, to me, is genius. One of his best. But I may think this because I can relate to both Cristina and Vicky's characters in an eerily intense way. Vicky is engaged to a man who is, well, he's just "fine." She is a righteous young woman who thinks she knows what she wants in life and love, and after spending the summer in Barcelona, realizes that what she thought she wanted, might not be enough. In Barcelona, she falls in love with a bohemian artist who is romantic, passionate and in love with being in love. His name is Juan Antonio. Cristina's character is lost. She knows what she doesn't want, but doesn't know what she does want. She has tried acting, writing, directing, painting and, in the movie, she finds she is a decent photographer. She floats from one adventure to another, never staying too long in each place because she starts feeling restless. The movie opens with Cristina and Vicky arriving in Barcelona. Vicky thinks she is content and happy with her pending marriage and is studying Catalan culture for the summer; Cristina just needed to get away. They both meet and fall in love with Juan Antonio. Vicky spends two days and one night with him; the night ends in the two making love. Knowing the relationship can go nowhere, Juan Antonia moves on to Cristina, who, shortly after beginning their love affair, moves in with him. Vicky, meanwhile, realizes she is in love with him, but being the righteous woman she is, agrees to marry her fiance that summer in Barcelona.

Now, how this pertains to me is very straightforward and easy to see, if you know me well enough. Like Vicky, I thought I knew what I wanted in a husband and I thought I found a person that encompassed what I believed I wanted. And then I met J. And I realized that I hadn't ever really been in love, not in the way I wanted to be. And we became great friends and I slowly fell in love with him. And I found out that, in his own way, he would be able to fit all of the things I thought were most important in a mate and more. Like Cristina, I have been able to identify what I know I don't want in a relationship and in a partner. However, I still don't know if I would be able to tell you what I definitely do want. What I don't want is to settle and I think this is very apparent especially since I could have done just that; I was weeks away from being asked the question most women want to be asked, 'Will you marry me," or some variation. But I chose uncertainty. I chose love. I chose a path where I couldn't identify how the end would look. But I chose the path that would teach me more about myself in the span of four months that I learned in 25 years. I chose the path of the most resistance. And it has been worth every second. Is J going to be in my life forever? I don't know. But I do know what I don't want-I don't want to take the easy way out and I don't want him to do that either.

So, people, go see this movie. It's thought provoking and romantic, yet realistic.

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