14 October 2009

Scare of the week

With a diet comprising primarily fruits, vegetables, soymilk, Cheerios, whole wheat bread and hummus, it’s no wonder I like to indulge in candy corn, dark chocolate Hershey Kisses and Tasti-d-lite on occasion. While I beat myself up after devouring a fro-yo, I know that things could worse. A lot worse.

Take, for example, the blog This is Why You’re Fat. Its title and tagline (Where dreams become heart attacks) say it all, and its submissions are simply shocking. Snacking on a Strudel Circus Stack may sound like a delicious way to spend 10 minutes of your day, but just think of what “Nutella and strawberry jam sandwiched between two Toaster Strudel Pastries topped with icing, cherry pie filling, whipped cream, sprinkles and a drizzle of honey” can do to your arteries. That’s right – clog them.

If ordering the Fat Bastard Burger with triple beef, triple bacon, triple cheese and caramelized onions sounds like a dandy idea at first, just remember who it’s named after. Yup, this guy:

Please people, be good to your body and it will be good to you. Next time you see something called The Widowmaker on a menu, for the love of God, keep on browsing. One and a half pounds of ground beef, one package of bacon, one package of Italian sausage, a box of hot pockets, and a half of a package of fried onion strips between two pepperoni pizzas topped with Velveeta cheese and marinara sauce may wind up costing your other half 10 grand in funeral costs.

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