Time

Time.

Some of us have too much, some too little. Me, well, I just need it to pass…quickly.

Two days ago I broke up with the man of my dreams; the man I wanted to have kids with; the man who, in so many ways, enhanced me; the man who had become my best friend. I broke up with him because he wasn’t sure about me. I broke up with him because it hurt way too much to be with him and wonder every night if it was the last night we would spend together. I broke up with him because I deserve someone who is sure that he wants me. And I am so sad.

I asked him why, three weeks ago we appeared to be happy and were best friends, inseparable and laughing all the time. His response: “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” My friends are sure he’s going to regret losing this relationship. I know they can’t really be objective in this kind of situation, but I sincerely hope they are right.

Today is Day Two without J. And it sucks…badly. The pain of not having him to talk to is palpable.

How much time needs to go by until I’m okay?